Futurama Quotes: Grandes Pensamentos de Bender

I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
--- Bender:


I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
-- Bender

Computer dating: it's just like pimping except you rarely have to use the
term 'upside your head'.
-- Bender

Yes, if by 'allow' you mean 'force'.
-- Professor Farnsworth


Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?
-- Bender


Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.
-- Bender

Bodies are for hookers and fat people.
-- Bender

Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny.
-- Bender

X-Mas eve, another pointless day where I accomplished nothing. Ah...
-- Bender

Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies; and there would have to be a
lot of them.
-- Linda the Reporter

Actually, she wasn't really my girlfriend, she just lived nextdoor and never
closed her curtains.
-- Fry

No one drove in New York. There was too much traffic.
-- Fry

She is well traveled, and I don't mean she travels a lot.
-- Bender

If I ever feel lonely, I'll just look over at this disfiguring scar and think
of you.
-- Amy

Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in
the body of a great white shark -- oooh, suddenly you've gone too far!
-- Professor Farnsworth


There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse.
I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with
this purse I found.
-- Bender

Poor Bender. Without his brain he's become all quiet and helpful.
-- Fry

Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress.
-- Bender

This is the best nanosecond of my life! No, this one is! No, this one!
-- Bender

I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's
even treated.
-- Dr. Zoidberg

Problem solved. You two fight to the death and I'll cook the loser.
-- Bender

They're like sex, except I'm having it.
-- Fry

Great is OK, but amazing would be GREAT!
-- Bender

Yes! I'm going to be rich! You are too, but it's hard to get excited about
that.
-- Bender

Put 'er there, pal! ...I meant your wallet.
-- Bender

I can be impulsive... it just takes me a while.
-- Leela

Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion -- the "x" makes it sound
cool.
-- Bender

That question was less stupid, though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
-- Professor Farnsworth

If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning
disability.
-- Zap Brannigan

That young man fills me with hope. And some other emotions that are weird and
deeply confusing.
-- Zap Brannigan

If they put me on a stamp... tell them to use the young Bender.
-- Bender

Scalpel... blood bucket... priest. Next patient!
-- Dr. Zoidberg

I hereby order that in Bender's honor he be melted down and made into a statue
of himself.
-- Zapp Brannigan


Hmm, words I never say... Oh, I know: "Thanks"!
-- Bender

You didn't hurt me, but you wanted to. That's the important thing.
-- Fry

Life is hilariously cruel.
-- Bender

Of all the parasites I've had over the years, these worms are among the best.
-- Fry

Bender's my friend; we can't just dump him in the sewer like Grandma's ashes.
-- Fry

Oh crap! It's a miracle!
-- Bender

It's funny, you live in the universe but you never do these things until
someone comes to visit.
-- Zoidberg

Now you know why I used the qualifier 'practically'.
-- Bender

You know the worst part about being a slave? They make you work but they don't
pay you or let you go.
-- Fry

People said I was dumb, but I proved them!
-- Fry

You say that those brains are making everyone on Earth stupid. Oh... stupider.
-- Leela

Why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?
-- Fry

I'm not a robot! I don't like having discs crammed into me; unless they're
Oreos. And then, only in the mouth.
-- Fry

Robots don't have any emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad.
-- Bender


Professor Farnsworth:
- Time travel is impossible!
Fry:
- But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth:
- That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?


Amy Wong:
- Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender:
- I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
Amy Wong:
- Us? How could you possibly blame us?
Bender:
- It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.




Bite my shiny metal ass